Ladies Speaking Out

There are no calories:

• In foods you are only tasting
• In snacks toddlers leave behind
• In anything containing fruit

If men had men-o-pause:

• They would celebrate with a ticker tape parade
• There would be a pill for it (like Viagara)
• Billions of tax dollars would be set aside to research fighting discomfort

Age really is a state of mind:

• Don’t worry about how many good years you have left… Live in the present
• Treat each new decade as a beginning not an end
• Just because you may not ‘look great for your age’ doesn’t mean you can’t ‘feel great’

Wrinkles actually mean:

• A life well lived
• A life full of laughter and joy
• A life lived without caring what others think

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High School Reunions

Reunions are a great time to take stock of how fortunate you really are. A lot of people use these occasions to see how well (or not) their ‘friends’ fared. We take pride in looking thinner (women), hairier (men) and less wrinkled (both) than our contemporaries. It doesn’t matter the circumstances that brought them to that state – we’re always quick to ‘judge a book by its cover.’

Abraham Lincoln wrote: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Elderly people understand this sentiment. The rest of us, sorry to say, do not. Or at least not yet…

Older people rarely regret things they did. They only regret things they didn’t do. When you’re younger you feel invincible and think there will always be tomorrow. But, sadly, sometimes tomorrow never comes. What then?

You try to live each day as if it’s your last, you try to be kind and compassionate toward others and you never, ever (as my grandmother always said) go out without first applying lipstick and a little blush!

 

FYI… my Mom is the dark-haired beauty in the back row, second from the left!

An Uphill Descent

We’ve all heard the expression: ‘one step forward, two steps back.’ It seems like every time I come up with an idea to make my Dad’s life better it just makes my life more difficult.

Case in point… I got him some books on tape to listen to (he likes comedians but only dead or nearly dead ones; no women and the routines should be rated R). So now I have to be around to put in the tape, turn it on, turn it off when it’s done – meaning I have to plan to be around for approximately an hour. But that’s okay. 

And even though his macular degeneration makes it cruelly difficult for him to see the tv, I do tape the programs he likes to ‘watch’ (he’s, oftentimes, sleeping through them when they’re regularly on). However, then I must stick around for slightly less than an hour to fast forward through all the commercials.

So, in my attempt to keep him happy and to fill his days with some small amount of joy and laughter, I partake in what I lovingly call, an uphill descent!

See My Keys?

How many of us, on a daily basis, have lost (oh, okay, misplaced) our keys? It’s by no means the end of the world as we know it. It’s just a case of senior moment-itis. Or is it…?

And it’s not just our keys anymore either. We lose our phones and our wallets, too. But it doesn’t end there. We carry around so much weight (women particularly) because of all the stuff we insist on taking with us in our handbags – just to leave the house:

• Multiple forms of ID
• Breath mints
• Lipstick
• Feminine products 
• Pen and paper (if you’re my Mom and you don’t have a smart phone)
• Coupons (if you’re my Mom and you can’t resist a sale)
• Tissues (if you’re my Mom and you can find multiple uses for them)

Don’t even get me started on the room-to-room surveillance mission. I tell myself each and every time that I needn’t write stuff down because I’m just going to the next room… Then, as I look around (helplessly trying to find a clue as to what I came into that room for), I start taking a mental picture of my surroundings:

• Will something familiar tip me off?
• Will an object just magically appear in front of my eyes?
• Maybe if I retrace my steps it’ll all suddenly become crystal clear? 

I could go on and on and on but I need to go out and run some errands… See my keys?!