ABC’s Of Aging

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(author unknown)

A is for arthritis
B is for bad back
C is for the chest pains – corned beef?cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight – can’t read that top line
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas  (which I’d rather not mention – and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is libido – what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees – that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my
Memory from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff)
and neurosis
O is for osteo – for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?
Give me another pill and I’ll be good as new!
R is for reflux – one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights (counting fears on how to pay my medical bills)
T is for tinnitus – I hear bells in my ears
And the word ‘terminal’ also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet unfound
X is for x-ray and what one might find
Y is for year (another one, I’m still alive)
Z is for zest

For surviving the symptoms my body’s deployed
And keeping 26 doctors gainfully employed

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Laughing Through Tears

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There are some things that are funny no matter what your age. When you’re a toddler, a simple prat fall or bathroom noise can set you off into near hysterics. Sometimes, after laughing really hard and for an extended period of time, you might even be brought to tears.

Today’s social media is full of YouTube videos, Instagram and Vimeo. People spend hours laughing, alone or with friends and colleagues, at the silliness captured on film involving babies and small animals. It’s really quite a phenomenon.

But once you reach a certain age, you’re just as libel to laugh as pee. Seriously. The two start to act in tandem and the slight leakage you accidentally experience becomes involuntary.

So, next time you plan on attending a live comedy event or getting together with some old friends (especially if alcohol is involved), slap on a pair of Depends and just go with the flow!