Ready, Set, Go

As previously mentioned, I’m not the most patient person on the planet. At this point, having lived with my parents for the better part of the last year, I’d have to say it’s still a work in progress.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1) When getting ready to go out, tell the parentals a good 10 minutes in advance so that they can conveniently go to the bathroom (Mom and Dad), put on lipstick (Mom), find and put on baseball cap (Dad) and hopefully remind me to bring whatever it is that’s needed for this particular outing.

2) When actually leaving the unit, have parentals go ahead and get the elevator – during which time I can gather whatever they forgot, pee, lock up and still get to the elevator, myself, by the time the doors open.

3) When returning home, drop parentals off at the front door to the building, go park the car, pick up the mail and still get to the elevator by the time the doors open.

See… it’s just a matter of planning ahead, not losing my cool by maintaining my patience and three simple steps of ready, set, go!

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The Name Game

Ever notice how the more time you spend with people, the more you start to think like them? We all have those moments when we can’t remember what we were going to say or do. Some call them senior moments and some (more colorfully) call them brain farts. But we all have them at one time or another – some more frequently than others and some who flat out deny their very existence.

Living with my parents is sometimes like living in prehistoric times. I’ve come to realize that the remote control is a clicker, a CD is a tape, the cell phone is a ringer, the printer is a copier and the DVR is a recorder. It’s not that these ‘alternate’ names are confusing. It’s fairly easy to tell what my parents are referring to most of the time – especially when they… point.

It’s when the parentals are at a total loss for words yet they expect you to read their minds, nonetheless, that you become somewhat frazzled and impatient. It can go from one extreme to the other:

1) The Dangerous Chair – a comfortable chair that, once sat on, makes an octogenarian fall immediately asleep. This covers every chair in the home from the most comfortable recliner to the hardest, metal folding chair.

2) Squeaky thingy – this can be anything from the upstairs neighbors walking around on parquet floors to a door that needs oiling.

3) Ice box – an old fashioned name for a refrigerator/freezer.

4) Who-ja-ma-bob – again, could be a razor, an alarm, the doorbell, the tv… anything whose name doesn’t immediately register.

5) Thingamajig – see above.

And don’t even get me started on proper names. Whether it’s trying to remember a person’s name from the past, a character or actor’s real name from tv or even their only daughter’s name (I usually come in at about 5 or 6 down on the list – after my brother, my grandparents, their grandkids), I’ve gotten so used to it that I’ll basically answer to any of the above… especially if it’s for something really good that I didn’t even do!