Take A Pill

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As spoiled Americans, we eat what we want and we smoke and drink in excess – irregardless of all the warnings from our doctors and the surgeon general. Then we sit back (because we sit way too much) and complain when we don’t feel well.

For some people, the solution is rather simple – “take a pill.” Or two. Or… We are notorious blamers. But we never want to take responsibility for our own actions. It’s so much easier to place the blame elsewhere. Or to expect a miracle at the last minute.

I have, personally, never liked taking pills. I will always try to find a more natural way to deal with any conditions or complications that arise. I only recently started taking vitamins – and only 3 each morning – to help give me more energy and to stave off the cold which permeates my bones and fingers and toes almost daily.

So… “to pill or not to pill?” That’s up to the individual (or their doctor). For me, I choose to eat right, abstain from drinking and smoking and, hopefully, I’ll live long (and well enough) to not regret it!

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It’s My Turn

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At the end of a hard day, all I want to do is put up my feet, have a hot cup of tea and listen to blissful silence. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to think, I just want to do… nothing. For a few moments, I just want to be me.

Maybe that’s a little profound for those of you who choose to make every second count. Some people have no idea how to just ‘chill.’ They don’t feel accomplished unless they’re doing something at all times. That’s sad, really, because there is so much more to life – and many people miss out on that.

I’m not knocking a great work ethic but I’ve known people who have slaved at jobs their whole lives – only to die way too young. I truly believe that all work and no play makes a person old before his/her time. And, as my Dad always says about the rich, “you can’t take it with you.”

So, after all my work is done and I’m sure that Mom and Dad have everything they need for the moment, it’s my turn to sit back and just relax!

Ways And Means

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What’s the best way to make money after you retire? Well – you could take part in online surveys, you could sell digital photographs, you could trade items on eBay, you could teach an online course, you could write an ebook

After I stop laughing, I have to remind myself that:

  • My parents don’t own a computer
  • My parents don’t know how to use a computer
  • My parents can, therefore, do none of the above-mentioned

Okay, they can still invest their money the old-fashioned way and they could look through their old crap (sorry, stuff) and find out if any of it has any real value whatsoever.

Or… they can continue to complain about the rising cost of gasoline (they don’t own a car), keep cutting out coupons and only shop for sale items (whether or not they need them) and, like the rest of America, decide how the country ‘should’ be run – if they were actually in the driver’s seat!

Crock Pot Capers

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Today I’m using my limited cooking skills to prepare a pot roast dinner for my parents. All I have to do is:

  • Put in the meat
  • Pour on the sauce
  • Cover and Turn on

Voila! Dinner is served. Well, almost… Now I have two choices to make:

1) Cook on high for 4 hours OR

2) Cook on low for 8 hours

If it was up to me I would choose the former. But parents of a certain age and from a certain generation have different ideas about modern cooking techniques. For instance, “what if it gets too hot?” I’m pretty sure these pots are pretested so that they don’t catch on fire or blow up or anything. Also, “is it safe to leave the pot plugged in when I’m not at home?” Considering I was planning on turning the pot on before I left for work so that it would be finished cooking and ready to serve by the time I returned home, I guess I understand their concern. However, did I mention that my parents would be home during the entire cooking process? So, really, the whole dilemma is pretty much moot, right?

Also, it says right on the front of the bag: JUST ADD BEEF.

So, why am I being asked if I added potatoes and carrots to the pot? If the bag instructed me to: ADD BEEF, POTATOES AND CARROTS, I suppose I would have done just that. But it didn’t. So I didn’t. Now we have a brand new dilemma. My solution would be to bake some potatoes in the oven or boil them on top of the stove along with a bag of pre-cut carrots. But that would mean I’d have to come home from work and start cooking all over again and that’s SO NOT what I had in mind.

Instead, I told Mom to feel free to wash and bake the potatoes and cut and peel some carrots and boil them while the meat is cooking. “Nah. That’s okay,” she told me. She’s perfectly happy to let me do the cooking, my way – just as long as I remember to add the potatoes and the carrots to the crock pot so they come out all cooked and flavorful from the meat. Ugh. 

Next time I decide to make a simple dinner for my parents, I’ll do it the old fashioned way… I’ll have it delivered!

Raising Healthy Parents

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Never in a million years did I think I’d be back, living at home, taking care of my family. Only this time, I’m not referring to my awesome, talented and successful sons. I’m talking about my parents.

But can you really raise parents?

They’re certainly not children although, listening to their colorful banter, you might think their behavior merits an old fashioned ‘time out.’ The parents, in this case, are my very own much-loved, well-respected octogenarian ‘muddah’ and ‘fadduh.’ They brought me into this world, gave me unconditional love and support and (all too often) unsolicited advice.

That said, I literally owe them my life. 

In the last few years, it has become more and more evident that my parents, while still independent (but with curmudgeonly tendencies), have begun slowing down and are showing signs of needing a bit of help now and again. To that end, I agreed to live with them, part time, while also continuing my musical career and still maintaining a personal life – that of a woman in her 50’s.

Here are a few things I’ve already noticed:

1) Kids are not the only ones who say the darnedest things
2) I’m now the most savvy and technologically skilled person in the room.
3) Child-proofing has an entirely different meaning.

About that… I’m sure I’m not alone in wondering about the point of childproofing bottles of pills. Sure, when your children are younger, you want them to be safe. But, seriously, any child worth his weight can open one of those bottles in under 5 seconds. Not so for many older adults – due to crippling arthritis and bad eyesight.

One of the most popular elder-friendly items in the drugstore these days (after Depends) is a pill box divided into days of the week. You simply put all their colorful, shapely little pills into the appropriately labelled compartments at the beginning of each week and allow them the dignity of taking their own meds. After all, they’re only ‘sightly’ challenged. And I can’t even imagine how frustrating that must be.

So, on those too long days when I feel like my temper and patience fall just a hair too short, I try and think back to my own childhood – when my parents had to put up with my brother and me and the 16th year of my life that Mom still lovingly refers to as anything but sweet – and remember that, at the end of the day, this too shall pass.

Most importantly, I now realize that one day my future happiness may rest in the hands of my own children and they damn well better remember… I called them awesome!