Make ‘Em Laugh

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, “was I getting in or out of the bath?”

The 94 year old yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells out, “was I going up the stairs or down?”

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful.” She ‘knocks on wood’ for good measure and then replies, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door!”

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All The Benefits

A senior citizen said to his 80 year old buddy:

“So I see you’re getting married.”
“Yep.”
“Do I know her?”
“Nope.”
“This woman. Is she good looking?”
“Not really.”
“Is she a good cook?”
“Nah. She can’t cook too well.”
“Does she have lots of money?”
“Nope. Poor as a church mouse.”
“Well, then. Is she good in bed?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why in the world would you want to marry her, then?”
“Because she can still drive after dark!”

Witty And Wise

An elderly Irish woman was driving home late one night, her husband in the passenger seat. Suddenly she saw flashing lights behind her. She pulled the car over and the officer walked up to her car. She lowered the window as the officer said, “Ma’am, do you know your husband fell out of the car two miles back?”

“Oh, thank goodness,” she replied. “I thought I’d gone deaf!”

(borrowed, with permission, from a friend’s Facebook post and written by Irish comedian, Hal Roach)

Here’s hoping Irish ‘ears’ are smiling today 🙂