Have You Heard…?

Without getting all political, it seems like our world has gotten way too gossipy. It used to be that only teenage girls and the elderly sat around gossiping. Now, it’s become America’s favorite pastime.

With all the hours we put into our jobs and caring for our families, it’s amazing that so many people have sooooo much free time on their hands. Can you imagine if all that free time was spent, say, volunteering rather than trolling the Internet?

Or am I the only one who remembers being told, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?!”*

*Happy and Healthy 2017!

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Ladies Speaking Out

There are no calories:

• In foods you are only tasting
• In snacks toddlers leave behind
• In anything containing fruit

If men had men-o-pause:

• They would celebrate with a ticker tape parade
• There would be a pill for it (like Viagara)
• Billions of tax dollars would be set aside to research fighting discomfort

Age really is a state of mind:

• Don’t worry about how many good years you have left… Live in the present
• Treat each new decade as a beginning not an end
• Just because you may not ‘look great for your age’ doesn’t mean you can’t ‘feel great’

Wrinkles actually mean:

• A life well lived
• A life full of laughter and joy
• A life lived without caring what others think

Wise Life Lessons

• Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths you take but by the number of moments that take your breath away.
• Life always offers you a second chance… It’s called tomorrow.
• Life is not about how you survive the storm – it’s about how you dance in the rain.
• The hardest thing to find in life is happiness. Money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.
• The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.
• Math is fun – it teaches you life and death information like, when you’re cold, go to a corner because it’s 90 degrees there.

 

Over And Out

The very first thing I often hear (after returning home from work at night) is my Dad talking back to the TV. This is something a lot of people do – not only the elderly. Whether it’s a televised sports game (“what are you, blind?”) or a game show (“buy a vowel, you moron”) or a myriad of other brain-numbing, soul-sucking, waste-of-time forms of entertainment, it amazes me the number of sane human beings who are glued to this never-ending cycle of visual stimulation. And my parents aren’t even aware of the modern concept of ‘streaming.’

It’s no wonder the television set has oftentimes been referred to as an ‘idiot box.’

I stopped reading the newspaper years ago because all I ever saw was murder, celebrity gossip and sports. Add to that the local weather and traffic report and that’s basically all that’s on the TV news as well. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there are tons of additional stations that keep replaying accidents and general mayhem 24/7. Such fun.*

So here’s some free advice:

STOP WATCHING. Like they used to say on walkie-talkies and CB radios: “over and out.” There. Problem solved, right? You’d think it would be that simple but, as bored as my Dad is these days because there’s only so much he can do with limited sight, he constantly sits down in front of the TV – knowing that, between watching every televised political debate, all my Mom’s game shows and soaps and his round-the-clock CNN, his blood pressure will no doubt be raised at some point. Maybe TVs should come with a warning from the surgeon general!

*Anyone who watches ‘Miranda’ on public television will get that reference.