In the hardware store, the clerk asked, “Can I help you find anything?”
“How about my misspent youth,” my husband joked.
The clerk answered, “We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.”
****
“My memory is gone, Esther, so I changed my password to ‘INCORRECT.’ That way, when I log in with the wrong password, the computer will tell me, ‘YOUR PASSWORD IS INCORRECT!'”
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My wife said, “Whatcha doin’ today?”
I said, “Nothing.”
She said, “You did that yesterday.”
I said, “I wasn’t finished.”
hellomuddah hellofadduh 