Can We Talk?

The more time I spend with older people the more I realize that their greatest fear is being alone. Not just physically alone but having to fill up to 12 hours a day with something other than silence. 

Many elders are widows/widowers and some are just not very good at socializing. It’s amazing how happy a simple conversation can make someone when there’s not much else going on in their life.

So, next time you see someone sitting alone on a bench or staring off into space, try interacting with that person and you might both feel better!

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Planning A Trip

What used to be an exciting event – planning a much needed vacation – is now an exercise, for some (particularly the elderly), in overcoming obstacles. There are many unconventional things that must now be considered before embarking on, say, a cruise:

1. Are there wheelchairs available in the terminals (and onboard the ship itself)?
2. Will all your meds be able to pass safely through customs?
3. Do you have a doctor’s note to explain the beeping that will (because of the titanium rods currently holding together your limbs) inevitably occur when you go through the metal detectors?

Mind you, these are only some of the obstacles elders will be facing getting onto the ship in the first place. Once you board:

1. Are there elevators to take you not only floor to floor but also to your seats in the dining areas and theaters?
2. Is there a special menu for diabetics?
3. Are there devices for the hearing impaired in noisy areas where BINGO and other activities take place?

And this doesn’t even cover any additional transportation snafus that might be incurred by using planes, busses, cabs or boat tenders to and from the cruise ship. Sadly, at this point, you will be so exhausted from merely planning (what should have been) this fantastic trip that you’ll most likely… just stay home!

 

What’s The Difference?

What’s the difference between helping and enabling? That’s a tricky question. It’s one that I’ve been battling with myself over for some time now.

The dictionary defines ‘help’ as doing something to make it easier for someone… to aid or assist someone. ‘Enable’ is defined as making something possible or easy. But isn’t that essentially the same thing? At least in literal terms, it sounds like a positive action. So how come I constantly feel like I’m doing my parents an injustice?

Here are some examples:

1) The Mail – getting it saves my parents time and a trip down the elevator. Saving my parents a trip down the elevator keeps them from leaving their home and from having something to do to break up the day.

2) The Store – going to the pharmacy or picking up dinner saves my parents from having to do these chores themselves. Doing these chores for my parents keeps them from leaving their home, having something to do and from socializing with other people.

3) The TV – turning on the tv, taping programs and checking the guide saves my parents from ever having to learn how to operate the remote. Operating the remote myself, instead of insisting they learn how to do it themselves, keeps them reliant on me, doesn’t challenge their brains, keeps them (basically) in the Stone Age and out of touch with technology and the resources of the 21st century.

What’s the difference between HelPing and eNABling? BN HAP (being happy)!

Love You More

I can’t speak for everyone but, for as long as I can remember, Mom and I always had a very special way that we ended our conversations:

ME: “Love you.”

MOM: “Love you more.”

It’s a simple statement that speaks volumes. It’s not something I say to just anyone and it’s not necessarily a measure of the amount of love I feel for a person. It just happened one day and then continued to be a ‘thing’ forever after.

To this day, I always end both my phone calls and (now) my texts with my sons by telling them I love them. It’s not that they need reminding – it’s just something I do. The best part about it is, as old as they are, they still say it back. And you can’t put a price tag on that!

#NameThatTune challenge… name 3 Love songs (with the word ‘love’ in the title) that have a special meaning to you. Mine are:

1) Love Is Blue

2) Love Me Do

3) Woman In Love