10 Rhetorical Questions

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1) How could I be so stupid?

2) Marriage is a wonderful institution but who wants to live in an institution?

3) Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

4) If you see a heat wave should you wave back?

5) Why are there Braille dots on the keypad of the drive thru ATM?

6) Why are softballs hard?

7) Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

8) Why is a professional who invests your money called a broker?

9) Why is it called a drive thru if you have to stop?

10) Why do they call it getting your dog ‘fixed’ if it doesn’t work afterwards?

Cheers And Jeers

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Why don’t people smile anymore? Walk down any city street and this is what you’ll see:

  • People arguing on their phones
  • People frowning unhappily
  • People rushing and bumping, unapologetically, into one another 

Why bother spending an hour in the morning, getting ready to go out into the world, only to scowl and rant and rave… who’s going to notice all the time you just spent primping?

Did you ever watch or hear someone yawn and (all of a sudden) you yawn, too? It’s oddly contagious. So why doesn’t one smile beget another? You smile if you hear a baby doing that ‘uncontrollable giggle’ thing or when you see ANY animal video on YouTube. But there don’t seem to be that many moments in our own lives where we just LAUGH.

Next time you have a soda or a milkshake, try blowing bubbles through the straw… We used to love doing that as children. Or spontaneously break into a happy dance for no particular reason. If someone happens to catch you, hopefully they’ll laugh along with you. If not, you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to the funny farm!

Dog’s Best Friend

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I can barely remember a time in my life when we didn’t have a dog. My first dog’s name was Sporty. The next one was called Sporty II (This is a custom I’ve never been fond of where, after a beloved pet dies, you run right out and get another one, just like it, and rename it as if it’s a ‘junior’).

Regardless, that’s exactly what happened when I returned home from college in my sophomore year. I couldn’t even look at this poor animal, let alone call him by my (other) dog’s name. Of course it didn’t take me long at all to fall in love with this dopey dog-clone (I mean that in the nicest way as most black labs ARE kinda dopey).

Then, last in a line of large, not-too-bright dogs, came Sheeba. She was found as a young pup, having been thrown away in a garbage can. A friend of the family immediately called us – knowing we would, without hesitation, take on this poor, discarded dog. And we did. And we were sure that, when her life ended, we were done having dogs. And we were… until Jett.

Jett was adopted when my kids were fairly young (we had lost another dog, Ricky – a Chihuahua/Terrier mix – before that. Ricky survived life in the city, getting snuck into school while I attended Juilliard, my marriage, my firstborn, my second born and then a few years more till he was just shy of 15).

Sadly, Jett came to us with a lot of baggage that we weren’t fully capable of handling at the end. So off to my devoted parents he went for his last year of life. And he lived a very spoiled life – spending most of his time in a doggie diaper, on my Dad’s lap, in front of the tv.

So, now, my Dad spends as much time as he can, petting and talking to all the dogs in our building. It’s not the same (by any means) as having his own, but they can all somehow sense that he is truly dog’s best friend!

#AdoptAPet #ClearTheShelters #SpayAndNeuter #MansBestFriend