Fine, How’re you?

(Author Unknown)

There’s nothing the matter with me,
I’m just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I’m overweight and I can’t get thin,
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

Arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn’t be able to go in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I’m all right.
Memory is failing, my head’s in a spin.
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is – for you and me, who’re growing old.
It’s better to say, “I’m fine” with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we’re in.

I’m fine, how are you?*

*All of the products shown above really work. I know. I use them all the time 😦

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Owning Your Age

When we’re really young, we’re in a big hurry to grow up. Children will, early on, hold up one or two fingers to proudly declare their age when asked. Then they go through a stage where they are very definitely, “four and 3/4” or “almost 5.”  

Our desire to age rather quickly makes another comeback when we approach double digits and, again, when we’re old enough to get our driver’s permit. Lastly (depending on where you live), there’s that urgent desire to be able to vote. Okay, drink… Whatever.

After that we’re not so keen on advancing in years. Some even go to great lengths to try and slow down the aging process. Every few years we’re thrown a bone when some group or another comes up with the latest: “60 is the new 40”… Yeah, right. And I’ve got a wooden bridge I’d like to sell you.

But fear not, baby boomers. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. If you live long enough, you’ll be eligible for AARP, Medicare, Social Security and senior discounts up the wazoo. So be loud and be proud. Own the age you’re at. Act the age you are. And age as gracefully as you can!